LOL

I'd love to give credit where credit is due for these hilarious captions and pictures, but they were forwarded to me from my Dad who got them in his email from....somewhere....anyway, they made me laugh so hard the baby kicked. Happy Monday everybody!

Sod Off, Mr. Sandman.

Out of all the wonderful extra side effects pregnancy has brought me thus far, a wider rear, vicious, throat- scalding heartburn, chronic sinus congestion, fatigue, an even wider rear, the occasional surprise migraine, forgetfulness (both convenient and 'in') and 3 months and counting of spectacular morning sickness, I have to say the thing I like the least has got to be the pregnancy dreams.

Every night since I weed on the stick, I have been subjected to The Preggo Dreams. These are much different from my usual nocturnal ramblings, which consist of long, epic idylls through cinematic landscapes and have a distinctive gauzy quality to them. No, the pregnancy dreams are more like comic book panels, choppier, cartoonish and utterly ruthless. In the past 7 nights, I have:

had all my teeth fall out while I was teaching a workshop on how to play Freeze Tag (humiliated, I was forced to gather them up in front of my students and flee to my hotel room)

been lost in a post apocalyptic city, desperately trying to save an orphan child and protect myself from a murderous, bloodthirsty mob (in the end, they got me)

had a miscarriage on the set of a TV show where we were all dressed like Oompa Loompas in white spandex jump suits (this one involves lots of blood) and nobody seemed to care that I was hemorrhaging (and sobbing)

realized that I had not, indeed, finished high school and that I hadn't gone to enough classes to graduate and I'd be stuck in the 12th grade FOREVER (I have this one a LOT)

been abandoned by my husband, friends, parents and mentors in turn, on the grounds that I am "worthless" and "funny looking" (?)

given birth to a balloon animal baby, which subsequently popped, leaving the midwives bemused and me devastated

been charged with the care of a small and delicate bunny, who was besieged by relentless predators determined to claw it to pieces (and they did)

and many, many others.

I average about 3-4 mini nightmares EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And unlike my non pregnancy dreams, where I can often remind myself that this is a stupid dream and change the outcome halfway through (deflect the bullet, deflate the bully, fly over the heads of the clamoring mob) these dreams, thick and stubborn with progesterone, don't respond to that sort of manipulation.

I am completely at the mercy of high school principals, baby eating predators, faulty dental work and terrifying bosses. And I am sick of it. I want my OLD anxiety dreams back, where I am merely naked in public or suddenly the President of Botswana.

Unlike morning sickness, which clears up with Vitamin B or heartburn which can be banished with a fistful of Tums, I can't think of a cure for these babies. If anybody knows a solution, take pity on me and post it in the 'comments' section.

Oh wait, I just thought of one. How 'bout giving birth? How can I have nightmares with all the sleepless nights that are coming? You can't dream if you don't sleep. HA! Suck it Mr. Sandman. Your days are numbered. AND I'll get my old rear end back. (God willing) In the meantime, eleven weeks to go. I am going to try and out smart Mr. S with a cat nap. Wish me luck, friends....and sweet dreams.

Don't Tell The Others, But These Are My Favorites.....

I know we're not supposed to have favorites among our "children," but sometimes I come up against yarn so lovely, I almost hope the finished product doesn't sell so I can keep it for myself! Here are a few that will hurt when I see them go to new homes....

(Above) This scarf is made from 100% recycled sari silk, hand spun by women in India and Nepal and hand knit by a woman in Newark! It's the soft rainbow colors that sell this one for me, it's artsy and unique without being too "out there."


I have great affection for this scarf, I made it extra long and skinny for a hip, artistic, on-the-go soul. It's 50% wool hand spun in Nazareth, P.A. and 50% sari silk from India and 100% nifty!

I call this my "Honeycomb scarf." Knit in seed stitch to show off the glorious wool and lovely color changes, I think I will HAVE to go and make a duplicate of this pretty thing for myself. I can't stand it. 100% kettle dyed wool.

It's hard to walk past this soft and nubbly scarf and NOT pick it up. The colors are jewel like and vibrant. I want this one too! Be prepared to answer a lot of questions about where you got it, if this scarf ends up being yours!

"Why are you not petting me?"

It's their in-your-face-attend to-my-needs-

demand-y-ness that makes me love them so. If only I had the self confidence to be so unabashedly up front about the fact that yes, it really IS all about me. Perfect. Photo and caption are courtesy of City Kitties. www.citykitties.org

Pretty Pretty Pictures

A couple more shots of the goods.

Jake loves knitting.

Helping me get ready for the show.

We Came, We Saw, We....Hmmm....

Hey Gang,

Just a couple of snaps from yesterday's craft fair in Newark. I'm a little bit torn about this entry. I want to be positive but I also want to tell the truth. I think it's only fair to other would be crafters to talk about the good with the erm, well...you know. So in the essence of compromise, I'm going to be positively truthful!

The show was not a retail success for me, or, I suspect ANY of the other crafters, as we had NO CUSTOMERS. I mean that quite literally. Makes retail a bit tricky, that. The crafters on either side of me made either one or no sales all day. There simply weren't any people attending. Very disappointing, that.

Some people attributed it to the show being so early in the fall, but judging from the number of harvest festivals I've seen, scheduled all over the Tri-state area, people DO go to them. I think it might have been a case of every crafters number 1 enemy, no publicity. Hey, you win some, you lose some. Here comes the positive part!

My Momma attended with me and I taught her how to knit, which was a blast. She picked it up unbelievably fast, which humbled me not a little bit as I remembered how slowly and clumsily I had learned the exact same skill. Not for the first time, I wished I had her brains. Go Momma, GO!

And we had some delightful visitors in the form of my cousins, Heather and David and their adorable boxer puppy, Bailey. Seeing them and knowing they'd come out to see FJKW launched made my whole day! I have been truly blessed with cousins, as mine are some of the sweetest and most thoughtful people on the planet. On both sides of the family tree. But don't tell them I said that- it'll go right to there heads! ;)

See, this is what I love about scarves- at 7 and a half months pregnant, they still fit perfectly!! I am wearing a hand knit number made from recycled sari silk from India. Spinning the yarn left over from weaving saris gives these women extra income and makes unique and distinctive pieces. So you can purchase knowing that you are helping out not only myself, but women and their families half a world away. Now doesn't that make you want to open your wallet! ;)

More positives: the looming craft fair deadline forced me to get all my projects completed, tagged and ready to buy. Also to ramp up my Etsy store (coming soon!) and get hopping on this blog. And to meet fellow crafters, exchange ideas and information and get some of my promotional materials out in circulation. Plus, there's nothing like looking back at your sparkling craft table, laden with all those colors and patterns and thinking "WOW! I MADE all that!" It's good for the ego, so it is.

For a seasonal and economical display, I draped the scarves and hats around pumpkins and gourds from the local Farmer's Market. Baby hats look great perched on top of mini pumpkins and I wrapped a scarf around the neck of a goose necked green gourd for a whimsical touch.

More pictures to come, as soon as I can persuade my attitudinal computer to upload them. Sigh. Thanks for stopping by friends and I hope you experience something magical in your lives today!

Why City Kitties gets my coin......

Copied this picture from City Kitties Facebook page to show you their latest in a long line of compassionate deeds. These kittens were left behind a dumpster to die at one week old. Happily, they are being bottle fed and cared for by Miriam, a vet tech at The Cat Doctor. When they are old enough, City Kitties will find them permanent and loving homes.

Hooray for Miriam and hooray for Happy Endings! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go feed my own City Kitties foundlings, who are howling with indignation for their crunchies. Yes, my kitty rulers. Mommy's coming!